Enuf is Enuf!

i had it already, all the late nights struggles, quarrels, debates.. wateva u call it.. its over.. i want to live a totalli diff kind of life, a life without any care.
Why bother when it doesn't matter, why care when u know u just gonna fall deep down when u trip once again?
Life just doesn't seem fair but its not me.. fate bent my hand, and i am taking my revenge.
Promiscious lifestyle, the hard fags, the spending life on any qualms and demands i want. that is the life i want now, why bother abour LTR when STR or ONS can even be fulfilled.

Been a while.. my Friend

Sorry my friends, been a while since i came here. probably brain scattered all over... now things are clearing up and the fog is lifting, some lines to set down so i nv fall in the same pit again

1) the love of my current life might not be here anymore, so i guess it's good bye and good luck, no hatred no excuse, just wanting the best for u, and your best juz ain't me
2) Sat down for a talk at Starbucks clear everything up, just needed you to say the truth to my face, though it may seem i left sad and dejected, at least one thing in my mind stop wondering around.
3) Working out on board the ship calm down my mind, made my hands and legs busy and made me see that there's more to life than just getting in a R/s. not that it is no longer important.. its no longer a priority
4) though we shared a similar lifestyle, we seemed to be in different world, when i am around u i am left speechless, that cant be love...
5) to the people i have stepped on, pushed away, left no phone calls and no sms, i am sorry.. if life gives us a chance to meet again, we will surely reminisce the times we had
6) been im-ing u.. guess u my best friend has been busy.. too scared to call.. i mean. after a year and a half, calling doesn't seem like the best choice i think, waiting for your call S...

Cheer spirit back to haunt me

got this big big uber large death-star size craving.. to cheer again!!
my line-up
1) ariel
2) yong ming
3) adrian
4) geraldine
5) me
BUT!!! so far.. it doesn't seem to be able to cheer.. someone save me!!!

FUCK it.. wats the point

Whats the point when u keep doing the best at your part and nothing comes back, not even a sense of gratitude, not even a sense of humility.. i tolerated enuf, one more shot and your out.. all of your.. trust me on that!

Quit NOW!

Quitting starts today.. i am sick and tired of coughing so much, so much phlegm, the ashy taste in my mouth and the price of cigs and places to smoke next year.. once and for all.. i hate the quit then smoke then go back to quit to fail again.. ARGH!!
today lost the battles loads of times.. 9 sticks.. omg.

Long lost ambition re-discovered

Yesterday after slacking at coffee shop till no tmr, went to gym.. yea.. not alone though.. iggy wanted to go. lol.. sry to JC for borrowing your shoes for gym.. but i dun think i can pull it off like u do.. haha
did a streneous sets of exercise.. do not try this without a spotter or an experienced lifter..
Power clean with shoulder press; 4 sets 8 reps each
deadlifts; 4 sets 6 reps each
Squats; 4 sets of 10 each
and later iggy want to do bench.. wow.. haha
bench; 3 sets of 10 or less..
then damn shack alrdy.. go back do fyp.. which was like 10 min.. lol
thx juraimi for the inconvenient timeslot we came at, but it was worth it.. Security room checked man.. lock and loaded TaNak Production..

Love Once, Love Deep

When u came, i din noe
if it meant anything at all
First sight, something came
and i smiled not on the surface

We hit off, talked somemore
it didn't hurt that we had interests apart
we compromised, made time and yet
it still all fell apart

I told myself when i was young
crushes happens everywhere
but when i see a crush that reciprocrate
then i will leap right in both eyes closed

To love once to love hard
to give all i ever am and made to be
In with no regrets but here i stand
regretting why even we end up this way

The beautiful dream, the paradise
Whats left of it are thorns
thorns on a heart which pounds for u
only to realise the fire within u has faded

A heart which pounds nite and day
Finding someone else to fill the void
But everytime it reaches that
i take a knife and stab again

Friends should not bring friends down
they should keep bringing them up
and be there when they fall
But i dun want to fall

Everytime the void fails to be filled
Life fails to have a meaning
Life stops, not for me, but for the inner me
Life came when u were around, it stopped when u left

Existence is what i lived right now
dunno how long that will last
seeing it in this dark cave of mine
i am heading for a bottomless pit

"Friends"

Friends (dictionary)
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.	a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3.	a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

a simple question, do we even lift up to the first 2 meanings of friend, usually we just lift up to the 3rd one and forget all about real people having problems..

CIG is my best friend as of now.. doesn't seem to disappoint me yet.

!@#$%^&*()_+

Whats the point.. it comes down to one thing, you dun care FULL STOP!!

Crazed Fanatic

Have i really changed.. i hope not.. even for the better, i dun want.. cuz better in man's perspective means harden up.. why be.. throw myself out there again. only not now.. after NS then.. lol

Disneyland in HK sucks.. Claressa word and reputation on it.. she visited all the DL in the world.. so yea.. take her word for it..

sucky lesson today.. not my idea, yet forced to present.. sighs..

filming, shy like fuck.. omg.. thanks to the 2 beau that MJ got..

sushi was also awkward still.. damn shy..

hopefully helped WG alrdy. hope things turns out better..

Lastly.. ppl pls dun be late tmr!!!!

Interested in New Song from the Academy

The MV very Chic flick.. lol.. Ryan all your fault ar!

One song about a girl
I can't breathe when I'm around her
I'll wait here everyday
In case she'll scratch the surface
She'll never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

Last night I knew what to say
But you weren't there to hear it
These lines so well rehearsed
Tongue tied and overloaded
You never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants
To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone...

Smitten yet again...

IT came again like it did the last time, dropped on my lap and started feeling warm.. but i guessed its not time yet.. maybe not ever to jump rite in again.. for a friend for myself its really not supposed to be done. Life's like that, deal with it, sometimes life through you a curve ball, you got to know how to bat it or u end up on the bench, watching life pass by again..
Time has faded, moments changed, even routines has changed, wat started out pure and genuine turns out cold and bitter, and even the person whos' responsible dunno about it.. haiz.. life is cool, life is cruel, but wateva it is, a man must be a man. a man must be unshaken by his belief, the reluctance for him to change, even when he knows he did wrong shows how steadfast he is, how grounded he is. my first wall has fallen, how much more times must walls fall for me to realise not everyone is willing give the time, commitment and care i can give, its a slot-machine, its a gamble, u never know what u get back then, so thus lotsa ppl pull out after being burnt, will i?

Song that brought back too many meaning

for those who hates or de-test christians, take the christianity out and it still apply.. dun worry i not emo.. just seems too nice to forgo in my head only

"Stained Glass Masquerade"

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Broke the habit but...

Broke my 2day of smoke.. but yea.. the force is weak with this young one.. but had a great day of fun.. haha
Cousin time out and boy dope sia.
good food, good company with Jeannet and her bf.. hope i din spell that wrong Jean.. and sorry for forgetting your bf name..
oh and lan for dota after so long. VS still not bad ar... managed to farm all my items up in time.. but had to carry gem. damn sickening.. stupid SA.. lol
got owned by bots in BF2.. lol.. something i would really say i noob at.. lol.. step on ppl open mine sia.. lol
Oh Esplanade was having hang out with friends.. classics from the 70s and 80, include fly me to the moon, quando quando quando and others.. full crowd sia.. and a big group of screaming 13-17f fans.. lol
Found the dopest cigs in SG currently.. KENT.. dun believe go 7-11 and get the NEW packaging of KENT neo.. and exhale through your nose.. damn dope!! silky smooth.. lol- and no lingering taste.. haha
ok time for you all to check other blog.. sorry no re-link yet.. think is highly unnecessary. cuz ppl who visit my blog is like little..PLUS!! i can link your link back to your blog.. haha

Napfa Results

well well. final moment of truth.. napfa.. in my opinion not so well done..
sit-up- do to 44 then slack til 51 reps, too bored.. lol-5pts
sit and reach- hit 51 first try but i say like slanted the piece so re-take at 49cm-5 pts
standing broad-jump-252 then 270 but 2nd try mats shift.. sighs- 5pts
pull-ups- slack then do to 1 then drop.. dun even feel like struggling-5pts
shuttle run-slippery floor, making my worse timing in all my years of napfa, 10.6 on 2nd try- 2pts
2.4k-dunno how slow i ran..but confirm 11 min plus also.. cuz got no stamina, came in 7th.. sighs-2 pt
total- napfa silver onli.. sighs