Song that brought back too many meaning

for those who hates or de-test christians, take the christianity out and it still apply.. dun worry i not emo.. just seems too nice to forgo in my head only

"Stained Glass Masquerade"

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Broke the habit but...

Broke my 2day of smoke.. but yea.. the force is weak with this young one.. but had a great day of fun.. haha
Cousin time out and boy dope sia.
good food, good company with Jeannet and her bf.. hope i din spell that wrong Jean.. and sorry for forgetting your bf name..
oh and lan for dota after so long. VS still not bad ar... managed to farm all my items up in time.. but had to carry gem. damn sickening.. stupid SA.. lol
got owned by bots in BF2.. lol.. something i would really say i noob at.. lol.. step on ppl open mine sia.. lol
Oh Esplanade was having hang out with friends.. classics from the 70s and 80, include fly me to the moon, quando quando quando and others.. full crowd sia.. and a big group of screaming 13-17f fans.. lol
Found the dopest cigs in SG currently.. KENT.. dun believe go 7-11 and get the NEW packaging of KENT neo.. and exhale through your nose.. damn dope!! silky smooth.. lol- and no lingering taste.. haha
ok time for you all to check other blog.. sorry no re-link yet.. think is highly unnecessary. cuz ppl who visit my blog is like little..PLUS!! i can link your link back to your blog.. haha

Napfa Results

well well. final moment of truth.. napfa.. in my opinion not so well done..
sit-up- do to 44 then slack til 51 reps, too bored.. lol-5pts
sit and reach- hit 51 first try but i say like slanted the piece so re-take at 49cm-5 pts
standing broad-jump-252 then 270 but 2nd try mats shift.. sighs- 5pts
pull-ups- slack then do to 1 then drop.. dun even feel like struggling-5pts
shuttle run-slippery floor, making my worse timing in all my years of napfa, 10.6 on 2nd try- 2pts
2.4k-dunno how slow i ran..but confirm 11 min plus also.. cuz got no stamina, came in 7th.. sighs-2 pt
total- napfa silver onli.. sighs

Gossip Girl

Somehow after watching that show.. i find a new way to blog.. lol.. but for those who watch.. i try not to blog in that manner.. so bear with me on this article.. lol

Spotted E at Sch gg to emp.. guessed meeting S then. seems quite well dressed as a person today, seemingly have some stuff on, either playnow or hossan leong..hmmm..
Spotted E smoking out to eat, move on later to argora, definitely Playnow. seemingly had a great time i see.
Spotted Stampy beheaded in 3 diff colours, purple seems non original to the actual one, but black is nice.
Somehow black seems to made the owner of it sad, hopefully cleared it up tmr..
E went back and seemingly got MF.. hope shit wun happen then on issues E dun need now..
E adventure ends for today, hopefully something more fulfilling tmr.. AD seems to be missing.. probably partying on his 2nd performance.
later..
XOXO
Gossip GIrl

Change of plans.. and possibly blog add

Hey.. seemingly my new post has been a more cheerful one.. so expect it to somewhat stay this way.. ok big news.. i am no longer be a cheerleader by trait from this post on.. thus destroying my plan to gain strength which also destroy the reputation of a gym rat.. thus most likely changing add.. things have changed.. and somehow i got to talk it in my stride and as a man.. i must know that strength is definitely my number 1 contender of weakness in Spectrum and also somehow seems like i am an outcast.. so no point staying right.. i doubt they will read anyway.. but wateva it is .. time to move on again i guessed.. this last stretch in RP year has been a time of move on.. oh well..

long awaiting

back from dunno where.. blogging awhile again.. yea

oK.. 5 things on the agenda.. hope you peps understand.. yea

1) Shitty weird shit this passed few days on trying to change a certain lifestyle.. not wanting to put ppl on pedestal again.. yea.. been doing that since sec 2 and still live now to regret.. maybe its my character? who knows..

2) someone is with someone and that just made me slightly sad.. but wish the someone all the best..

3) viceroy sucks.. maybe a road of redemption to quitting

4) thinking of quitting cheer.. hope the final verdict comes to mind soon...

5) watched so much shows and found out a different thing.. a whole new perspective on man-female relationship and the shit that we can put ourselves through and yet still find happiness.. if the movies are just fantasy.. then i rather stay there..

oh yea.. lastly.. happy birthday to my 18 yr old cousin claressa on being 2 days older than 18.. lol.. great time of drink, smoke, ktv and talk.. now currently quite broke..

Woken Up, packing up

Something struck me.. what am i living for?
i know i will put a sensitive topic but somehow i know i met some objective by going through a painful de-tour.. a de-tour i have yet to recover from..
But it has given me a look on perfect love.. What is it?
Is being so patient with everything, not saying stuff just when u think it is prejudice, but rather wait it out, listen to everything, and whatever you do refuse to comment on touchy issues.
Perfect love is also supressing or releasing the stored up emotions so much in such a great extend it feels better, without affecting the people around you..
today no one was there.. no one.. but then it was also a time for me to know the truth... not in the face kind.. but quite inferred for me to know that its time. time to take flight and pack up.. time to leave..

Too much reasons to be sad

But.... i will stay happy
cuz it is the thing that will change me
be sad n smoke more?
be happy cant smoke more:)
logic actually but somehow took so long to hit my brain

Yes u heard it again.. i am trying to quit again
this time.. trying really hard
hitting gym, get games on PSP
buy sweets, and watever i can eat

then there is the most infamous question
Moved on already
Not yet.. but will just sit for time out
if it happens, it happens
if it dun, then ns lo.. yea

IYP pls go well
i dun want to have nothing to show again..
film hard core tmr yes

Not slping yet.. someone sad..

Like a kite

Like a kite on the ground,
waiting on the wind to come
so will i stay patiently
ever waiting for u..
even though u might not come
i will wait on
either till i got sick of waiting
and continued on
or i will be with u..

love ain't about being together
love means to be open to fall apart
and come back feeling the same again
nothing ventured nothing gained
sooner or later people will realize
either they gave too much and they should wait
and come back again giving more
or really they just have enough of fairytale
in this badly driven world.

Line of the Day

Sex tells u how long you will last.
*warning, do not attempt the act juz cuz its on, just let it come naturally*
Justification of 2 sides
1) if u BOTH enjoyed it and repeated it, it will last slightly longer than most
2) if u enjoyed it but she din, u got to re-evaluate who is maintaining it
3) if u feel bad after it, time to move on

Situation 1 ensures that both of your have the same look and treatment towards the important topic of the day, viewpoint of SEX. this comes from your personality and how you were brought up, what edifies you and what doesn't, BUT 2 people can still love the act for 2 different reason, eg. a guy who is deprived of physical touch from young and a sex fiend whose mum taught her in too early childhood on sexual topics so she does not become a victim..

Situation 2 shows how one side seems more over-caring than the other, thus meaning that one loves more and the other just slack and hope everything goes smoothly, when the rough patches hit, he/she is the first one to bail out.

Situation 3 shows that if u are the victim of it, then seriously consider this, how are you gg to face him/her when you both get married and want to have kids.. u will feel you put too much pressure on her to want kids or to him too much responsibility of becoming a dad, then forget it.. get out of it..

This topic was introduced and brought up by my director shaggy:P Comments are my thoughts though.. lol

Busy Bumble Bubble Bee

This week was wicked and i love it!! Spectrum training put on hold.. just in time for holidays to complete works from school for portfolio
1) G302 FYP a hit man! the shoot was good, though we were like shagged out by 430am.. No puns shaggy:P
2) following that, Great Eastern woman 10k run.. was a damn good experience, seeing exactly what can screw up in a run this huge and also all the time frame and shoot, and since they never hire me as photographer, its up to my own discretion to sent them how many pictures i want.. hahahahaha.. rest of them.. portfolio man!!
3) PlayNow better start now or else no time. haha.. hope can get equipment on wed.. if not use my own FYP group equipment.. but must ask boss first..
4) Shooting for IYP re-branding short video.. must do soon. the one alot of work.. shoot, edit, then crop frame by frame out and add in stop motion of the Mascot.. yea.. alot alot of work!!!
Hope everyone is doing well, hope everyone is fine.. cuz at the end of the day life is all about you..
U decide how bad it will go, u decide how well it went!
(is it just me or is it godsend, when a simple tot of not gg home without anything to do, then friends appear, out of nowhere from 2 different groups.. definitely brighten up my late night home from no sleep the night before!

Found it back..

my blog reminded me what is really important to me. shit can happens, people may come and go, people may disappoint.. but u cant disappoint yourself. cuz that's the saddest thing u can do..
Gym- an appreciation of how i would grow bigger/nicer and also so i can do stuff i really want.. like a toss-up.. way passed my dateline.. cuz never build
cheer- the spirit to get ppl hyped up for no apparent reason until proven that there's a reason to be happy about, reminds people about nutty people just gathering for a simple goal, to do stunts, entertain the crowd with songs, dance and cheer (hopefully).
tmr morning gym.. then see where life leads.. cuz at 4pm gg sch to settle script for playnow..

reformated laptop.. now fast so happi;)

Found an entertainment

Ok back from relaxing weekend and a stressful friday..
1) am in PlayNow 2008.. visit Playnow2008.blogspot.com for more information on this competition.
2) done with the script for playnow.. now waiting to compare and see if my script sticks
3) found an online game finally!!! yippie.. its called requiem bloodymare, M18 content due to gore and explicit violence. damn nice.. hope it wil be too when i play it.. join me if u want :P (pls?) http://www.playrequiem.com/Index.aspx
4) going to reformat laptop tmr before installing so can free up space and get rid of shit viruses.
5) Submitting NS letter to get medical check-up.. or else fine 75k.. no joke.

i am out of the running for u

life was going bad before u came along
u showered me with love, affection and care
this is more than an emo song
of wanting u back in my life
is a string on a finger to nv trust love again

Love brought us high, love brought me back down
deeper than the darkest pits of hell
love shine like the sun so bright
and pattered down like the rain so kind
but all good things had an end
only that it ended when i think it should not end
sooner or late you will see
love has taken its toil on me

Many i have laid eyes on but never say
for the fear that i won't be good enough someday
well this moment came and i said those 4 little words
i love you so was what i said
from then till now it does not change
but why does cupid deal me an poison blow
to leave on it and never let it go
for better or for worse i know myself
but only with you my life seems fine compared to hell

when u did that single step
i told myself i won't turn back
to wait for you was what i say
but now the words has flown away
is it just me or am i insane

first few months was hard as hell
hot iron burning my skins and cells
everything wants you back
and even though i tried i never got you back

few months passed and our roads collide
seeing u walking with another guy
my heart shattered to the ground
and all of this, without a sound
i didn't complain i didn't like
to make u think you are my wife
cause at the end i always know
Loving someone is letting go

i took on a manequin masquerade
to mask my pain and stay the same
but at the end of the day we will see
if my love for u will remain
all the way to the end of the age

Life really sucks big time now
with a cold hard world i'm back in
i missed the warmth and sweet embrace
but knowing it i will hardly change
my selfish ways my lustful taste
cause somehow i think i grew up this way

found a "friend" called a pack
the bitter sting that this friend gives
change my dreams and warped my dreams
of wanting a family to settle down again

this i leave now this emo line
don't wait at all for time to come by
once is here and there is gone
forever and ever i love u so.

about me

Gemini- the best of 2 worlds in one person but comes on too strong for both sides. believes in hardwork paying off and being rewarded with what the give out which is ALWAYS not true for them, thus they end up screwing themselves over for doing good to others but given back bullshit as trade.

didn't get idea across today during mid-point to other team-mates, seems other ideas were better.. hmm.. wat to do.. this is out of my hands.. i can only trust and believe, do no thinking unless asked to.

met ariel and ym after sch accidentally... happy about it but sad cuz cant mingle with them.. but if i did.. i will like be a huge ass lightbulb.. 2 times liao..

watching heroes, prison break 4, house m.d. 5, big bang theory & naruto... got back my old phone.. yes ar!

still no passion to cheer.. even though i gave it everything i have.. helped ppl.. but MOST of the times.. help doesn't come back..

Failed as a man, Failed as a cheerleader

Life sucks now.. cuz its always in me to help others.. ppl are on earth to do precisely that, help ppl and be helped. look at industries as examples, ppl help each other and give money as "incentives" to them for gratitude of help..
Cheerleading: a sport highly based on trust, ability and teamwork in order to come out with a stunning routine or performance to hype up a crowd or to bring joy to people's life. the lifestyle that is led is to cheer people up in the squad as each member of the squad is a solid foundation of the team and without anyone of us, it is doomed to failure.

So thus, it seems like since i cant help ppl. why continue on in this arena of interest.. sighs..

I still do..

even though the setting seemed right,
the time seemed to stop
but i could not bring myself to do it..
let bygones be bygones
and the present be your present
the 3 words i have to say
is that i still do

i still do now
i still do then
i still care for you every single day
i still worry
i still wait
waiting for the day for your warm embrace
i miss u..

2 main status

1) a damn big ulcer that is literally sucking the life's happiness out of me.. Food, smoke, talk, drink.. anything. its sucks the whole life out of me..
2) 3 words: i still do...

Angel sent to help

been a help to ppl nowadays.. first a break-up and now.. ppl quitting due to commitment..
People are all alone
waiting for others to come by
so then will it help
that u have your stand
to make them stay
or to make a choice for them

Sooner or later
u will realize
choosing the best
is still the best

seeing them leave makes u cry
telling them to hang on seems so hard
when will it be that people will know
that when u need them there
they moved on, they left what paradise is left
but it is just human to move on, to move on


Life begins innocent
but society made it complicated
with one line, what do i stand to gain
by the time u said this, u are in the world
asking others the same question
and never wanting to give back

is it childish for one to know that
u could help but u didn't
cuz you stand nothing to gain?
when at the end u end up broken-hearted
and tired from making people's life paradise.

2 days update

ok sorry about not updating daily as usual.. new habit very hard to break into..
Tue sch: have training after sch but before we go there.. smt happened..
Last-Lampost Production (consisting of tim, angus, faisal and me are embarking on playnow 2008 despite FYP) hopefully everything go swee swee and they dun nonsense nonsense chu pattern give damn hard or hard to work with themes. so saying that, tim, angus and faisal total owe me money for the registration fees. hahaha.lol
Training: Rexaz training was ok.. they trying for try-outs soon le.. everyone all the best.. anything ask your seniors.. yea.. use me when i on mats can.. or else i like flower vase leh.. haha.. chair, liberty.. things nv do sooooooo long still can do.. damn happy.. haha.. and yes.. toss got improve.. haha.. now flyer leg just slightly above shoulder.. yay.. 1 more week.. haha

Wed.. Gym and slack.. trained shoulders..cuz then can toss higher.. yes.. so train till like quite aching but now ok.. so equals tmr confirm pain.. haha..and oh yea.. i went to sch.. for er.... nothing.. lol.. then all of a sudden YM jump on me.. i chua sai.. they say he and ariel going watch movie.. then i like but i lightbulb leh.. but still went.. the show ok la.. for singapore filming standard.. watch painted skin.. support singapore creation.. ok need to rest le.. or else shoulder wun develop.. haha..take care all.. peace out.. cheer out!!