Like a kite

Like a kite on the ground,
waiting on the wind to come
so will i stay patiently
ever waiting for u..
even though u might not come
i will wait on
either till i got sick of waiting
and continued on
or i will be with u..

love ain't about being together
love means to be open to fall apart
and come back feeling the same again
nothing ventured nothing gained
sooner or later people will realize
either they gave too much and they should wait
and come back again giving more
or really they just have enough of fairytale
in this badly driven world.

Line of the Day

Sex tells u how long you will last.
*warning, do not attempt the act juz cuz its on, just let it come naturally*
Justification of 2 sides
1) if u BOTH enjoyed it and repeated it, it will last slightly longer than most
2) if u enjoyed it but she din, u got to re-evaluate who is maintaining it
3) if u feel bad after it, time to move on

Situation 1 ensures that both of your have the same look and treatment towards the important topic of the day, viewpoint of SEX. this comes from your personality and how you were brought up, what edifies you and what doesn't, BUT 2 people can still love the act for 2 different reason, eg. a guy who is deprived of physical touch from young and a sex fiend whose mum taught her in too early childhood on sexual topics so she does not become a victim..

Situation 2 shows how one side seems more over-caring than the other, thus meaning that one loves more and the other just slack and hope everything goes smoothly, when the rough patches hit, he/she is the first one to bail out.

Situation 3 shows that if u are the victim of it, then seriously consider this, how are you gg to face him/her when you both get married and want to have kids.. u will feel you put too much pressure on her to want kids or to him too much responsibility of becoming a dad, then forget it.. get out of it..

This topic was introduced and brought up by my director shaggy:P Comments are my thoughts though.. lol

Busy Bumble Bubble Bee

This week was wicked and i love it!! Spectrum training put on hold.. just in time for holidays to complete works from school for portfolio
1) G302 FYP a hit man! the shoot was good, though we were like shagged out by 430am.. No puns shaggy:P
2) following that, Great Eastern woman 10k run.. was a damn good experience, seeing exactly what can screw up in a run this huge and also all the time frame and shoot, and since they never hire me as photographer, its up to my own discretion to sent them how many pictures i want.. hahahahaha.. rest of them.. portfolio man!!
3) PlayNow better start now or else no time. haha.. hope can get equipment on wed.. if not use my own FYP group equipment.. but must ask boss first..
4) Shooting for IYP re-branding short video.. must do soon. the one alot of work.. shoot, edit, then crop frame by frame out and add in stop motion of the Mascot.. yea.. alot alot of work!!!
Hope everyone is doing well, hope everyone is fine.. cuz at the end of the day life is all about you..
U decide how bad it will go, u decide how well it went!
(is it just me or is it godsend, when a simple tot of not gg home without anything to do, then friends appear, out of nowhere from 2 different groups.. definitely brighten up my late night home from no sleep the night before!

Found it back..

my blog reminded me what is really important to me. shit can happens, people may come and go, people may disappoint.. but u cant disappoint yourself. cuz that's the saddest thing u can do..
Gym- an appreciation of how i would grow bigger/nicer and also so i can do stuff i really want.. like a toss-up.. way passed my dateline.. cuz never build
cheer- the spirit to get ppl hyped up for no apparent reason until proven that there's a reason to be happy about, reminds people about nutty people just gathering for a simple goal, to do stunts, entertain the crowd with songs, dance and cheer (hopefully).
tmr morning gym.. then see where life leads.. cuz at 4pm gg sch to settle script for playnow..

reformated laptop.. now fast so happi;)

Found an entertainment

Ok back from relaxing weekend and a stressful friday..
1) am in PlayNow 2008.. visit Playnow2008.blogspot.com for more information on this competition.
2) done with the script for playnow.. now waiting to compare and see if my script sticks
3) found an online game finally!!! yippie.. its called requiem bloodymare, M18 content due to gore and explicit violence. damn nice.. hope it wil be too when i play it.. join me if u want :P (pls?) http://www.playrequiem.com/Index.aspx
4) going to reformat laptop tmr before installing so can free up space and get rid of shit viruses.
5) Submitting NS letter to get medical check-up.. or else fine 75k.. no joke.

i am out of the running for u

life was going bad before u came along
u showered me with love, affection and care
this is more than an emo song
of wanting u back in my life
is a string on a finger to nv trust love again

Love brought us high, love brought me back down
deeper than the darkest pits of hell
love shine like the sun so bright
and pattered down like the rain so kind
but all good things had an end
only that it ended when i think it should not end
sooner or late you will see
love has taken its toil on me

Many i have laid eyes on but never say
for the fear that i won't be good enough someday
well this moment came and i said those 4 little words
i love you so was what i said
from then till now it does not change
but why does cupid deal me an poison blow
to leave on it and never let it go
for better or for worse i know myself
but only with you my life seems fine compared to hell

when u did that single step
i told myself i won't turn back
to wait for you was what i say
but now the words has flown away
is it just me or am i insane

first few months was hard as hell
hot iron burning my skins and cells
everything wants you back
and even though i tried i never got you back

few months passed and our roads collide
seeing u walking with another guy
my heart shattered to the ground
and all of this, without a sound
i didn't complain i didn't like
to make u think you are my wife
cause at the end i always know
Loving someone is letting go

i took on a manequin masquerade
to mask my pain and stay the same
but at the end of the day we will see
if my love for u will remain
all the way to the end of the age

Life really sucks big time now
with a cold hard world i'm back in
i missed the warmth and sweet embrace
but knowing it i will hardly change
my selfish ways my lustful taste
cause somehow i think i grew up this way

found a "friend" called a pack
the bitter sting that this friend gives
change my dreams and warped my dreams
of wanting a family to settle down again

this i leave now this emo line
don't wait at all for time to come by
once is here and there is gone
forever and ever i love u so.

about me

Gemini- the best of 2 worlds in one person but comes on too strong for both sides. believes in hardwork paying off and being rewarded with what the give out which is ALWAYS not true for them, thus they end up screwing themselves over for doing good to others but given back bullshit as trade.

didn't get idea across today during mid-point to other team-mates, seems other ideas were better.. hmm.. wat to do.. this is out of my hands.. i can only trust and believe, do no thinking unless asked to.

met ariel and ym after sch accidentally... happy about it but sad cuz cant mingle with them.. but if i did.. i will like be a huge ass lightbulb.. 2 times liao..

watching heroes, prison break 4, house m.d. 5, big bang theory & naruto... got back my old phone.. yes ar!

still no passion to cheer.. even though i gave it everything i have.. helped ppl.. but MOST of the times.. help doesn't come back..

Failed as a man, Failed as a cheerleader

Life sucks now.. cuz its always in me to help others.. ppl are on earth to do precisely that, help ppl and be helped. look at industries as examples, ppl help each other and give money as "incentives" to them for gratitude of help..
Cheerleading: a sport highly based on trust, ability and teamwork in order to come out with a stunning routine or performance to hype up a crowd or to bring joy to people's life. the lifestyle that is led is to cheer people up in the squad as each member of the squad is a solid foundation of the team and without anyone of us, it is doomed to failure.

So thus, it seems like since i cant help ppl. why continue on in this arena of interest.. sighs..

I still do..

even though the setting seemed right,
the time seemed to stop
but i could not bring myself to do it..
let bygones be bygones
and the present be your present
the 3 words i have to say
is that i still do

i still do now
i still do then
i still care for you every single day
i still worry
i still wait
waiting for the day for your warm embrace
i miss u..

2 main status

1) a damn big ulcer that is literally sucking the life's happiness out of me.. Food, smoke, talk, drink.. anything. its sucks the whole life out of me..
2) 3 words: i still do...

Angel sent to help

been a help to ppl nowadays.. first a break-up and now.. ppl quitting due to commitment..
People are all alone
waiting for others to come by
so then will it help
that u have your stand
to make them stay
or to make a choice for them

Sooner or later
u will realize
choosing the best
is still the best

seeing them leave makes u cry
telling them to hang on seems so hard
when will it be that people will know
that when u need them there
they moved on, they left what paradise is left
but it is just human to move on, to move on


Life begins innocent
but society made it complicated
with one line, what do i stand to gain
by the time u said this, u are in the world
asking others the same question
and never wanting to give back

is it childish for one to know that
u could help but u didn't
cuz you stand nothing to gain?
when at the end u end up broken-hearted
and tired from making people's life paradise.

2 days update

ok sorry about not updating daily as usual.. new habit very hard to break into..
Tue sch: have training after sch but before we go there.. smt happened..
Last-Lampost Production (consisting of tim, angus, faisal and me are embarking on playnow 2008 despite FYP) hopefully everything go swee swee and they dun nonsense nonsense chu pattern give damn hard or hard to work with themes. so saying that, tim, angus and faisal total owe me money for the registration fees. hahaha.lol
Training: Rexaz training was ok.. they trying for try-outs soon le.. everyone all the best.. anything ask your seniors.. yea.. use me when i on mats can.. or else i like flower vase leh.. haha.. chair, liberty.. things nv do sooooooo long still can do.. damn happy.. haha.. and yes.. toss got improve.. haha.. now flyer leg just slightly above shoulder.. yay.. 1 more week.. haha

Wed.. Gym and slack.. trained shoulders..cuz then can toss higher.. yes.. so train till like quite aching but now ok.. so equals tmr confirm pain.. haha..and oh yea.. i went to sch.. for er.... nothing.. lol.. then all of a sudden YM jump on me.. i chua sai.. they say he and ariel going watch movie.. then i like but i lightbulb leh.. but still went.. the show ok la.. for singapore filming standard.. watch painted skin.. support singapore creation.. ok need to rest le.. or else shoulder wun develop.. haha..take care all.. peace out.. cheer out!!

Things to add

Random stuff first..
1) saw a super old news report on how England got their birth rate up due to IVP
Thought: there's a percentage of ppl who will accept anything when it comes to something new, and thus confirm will have improvement to their own general traits; eg. new intel technology, new gaming experiences.
2) hotmail website not working for me? pls tell me how to de-bug.. click anything also wun respond.
3)downloaded a lot of techno songs.. time to upgrade songs in hard drive.. muhahahaha
4) Training paid off.. 2 days of heck alot of pain.. but can do almost a toss-up le.. now at shoulder level the flyer legs.
4) no longer using the word gym-ratting. coined this from ppl training like animal in the gym, being as greedy as a rat when it comes to piling up.. changed to gym-anting.. cuz ants can lift a heck lot more compared to their own weight.. think 300 times.. haha
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ok moving on.. now to talk about training today. damn no kick.. shoulder stand.. throw me any flyer also no kick.. got basics le.. elevator.. back-spot all the way.. lol. only toss up got kick.. cuz my powerlifting paid off.. haha.. yippie.. looking forward to tmr chicken rice.. yum yum.. haha

Someone birthday coming up.. lol.. but must keep secret.. dun let her know.. or else spoiler.. lol

Train train train.. F=ma, when F=force, m=mass & a=acceleration.. mass is constant.. force needed is inversely related to how fast u accelerate.. meaning how fast and powerful my toss is.. lol:)

damn boring day besides this today.. yea.. hope everyone have a good night rest and enjoy their life.. dun no life ok. and dun too bored.. too bored call me.. dun even bother with facebook.. facebook for classroom use only.. ahah

Forget and be forgotten

just rejected a job offer from like 2 weeks ago. ash seems like a nice person but somehow i got this gut feeling of not trusting his confidence in his work.. might be cuz i kanna a few times by ppl who "appear" friendly but apparently in it only for the money.. hmmm. yea rejected the offer.. now hunting again.. and damn tired.. by gym, by thinking by alot of things. argh!

Gym and sleep.

Woke up.. eat went gym.
power-lifted today.. quite proud of myself and commitment. want to give up still say must finish at least 3 exercise then go.. yeah.. damn exhausting doing it, but hope it pay off to the toss up later on.
did squads too, but damn it, did it before power-lift so not so much strength left, but hit back the last weight i used which is like a pathetic 8.75 each side.. wth.. and my deadlifts drop weight too.. from 35 to 25.. sighs.
overall, exhausted.. supposed to meet cousin but my phone is with my mother.. and my sim card with me. so if i dun like reply and shit.. u all know why.. take care all.. dun end up like me.

huge sighs

Too much happen.. and sick of bad stuff happening.. all my fault
1) friend started smoking
2) i went back smoking
3) i "gambled" abit from nothing
4) i drank beer
5) i skipped gym twice
6) i dunno which squad i should be in
7) i haven been there for my friends
8) i nv post for 2 days
9) i wasted alot of money
10) i keep coming home late..

SIGHS!

Slack day before intensive training tomorrow

Nice day today.. dunno about the grade for today though.. to slack le.. should give the credit to brandon.. yea. Bulking starts today but i almost destroy everything.. later on you will know why.
Woke up at 715.. shit late!! chiong rush to sch. reach quite ok time 815. mrt fast. so decided to install my razer mouse.. haha. but now click on desktop icon like got problem. shit.. ok reached class.. shannon not coming sch.. so no D&D after sch.. IM ppl to talk to, today problem somewhat got me pondering.. what is a creative design company which u are supposed to come up designs for going to grade your work.. functionality or creativity.. hmmm.. so din give my 100% in class.. sry.
Ok after a while.. found out godsis smoking.. thoroughly devastated.. sighs.. somemore twice today.. even bigger sighs.. then i realised i really need to be there for her in this trying time.. so meeting her tmr for first breakout. hopefully she and i wun smoke.. yea
today.. met Her and passed her heroes and chocolate.. hope i brighten up your day.. and hope its not so pain anymore. so after sch wanted to meet godsis.. she alrdy wanted to shisha today.. (dunno how to spell).. and then luckily she canceled.. but in the course of it.. i was tempted.. loads of time to want to smoke again. argh!! its not the friends around me.. its my own fault that i cant hold back..!@#$%&*()_+! yes! then lucky for me.. got mickey purposedly suan me so i stop taking cigarette from him.. thanks man. thanks for slapping me with your suan when it means that much to me.. so ate alot today. then chest pain.. (smile of satisfaction). so went for training and did alot.. i think
today got pt... i was like. why destroy my gym training sia... i trained so hard come here spoil training only.. yea.. but never mind..it was worth it.. did chair, shoulder-stand which i am damn proud of.. cuz its nice and damn stable even with new flyers:) next try like 3 flyers for toss up.. trying to improve ar. but think yu-ting so far is the best for my toss-up.. Hoping for toss-hands by end of the month.. lol. dunno.. see first.. so after that went home and grabbed a drink cuz damn thirsty and saw an sms for a job.. which i cant make it to the interview tmr.. thanks ash whoever u are for being so understanding.. even sms me at like 11 sia... hope the job suits me and i can excel so can earn money.. lol..
time to sleep.. time to rebuild muscles for chest and also for an overall good first day start to bulking..

Disappointment & happiness

Sry about not updating my blog yesterday night and also for not changing the skin.. SHIT la.. Yeah.. will try to change it this weekend if possible.. ok moving on to updates
Gym for chest but on thurs.. din even feel a slight ache.. shit.. caution.. might gym on using the wrong technique and muscle groups.. DIE! ok then realli WANTED to go school watch show with someone and ask for her comment on how my blog layout should be but sh cant.. cuz of personal reasons.. yea.. But nvm.. got to play mahjong.. in which i lost only 1.50.. thats like the record low for me.. the least i ever lost.. lol
Ok.. i promised.. i will change blogskins and wat nots on weekends.. and someone could be there to give me suggestions.. i noob at HTML ar..

Big Upgrades tmr and slightly slack day today

Woke up.. realised it was too early for a tue which just happens to be a holiday for me.. lol.. woke up at 4 ma.. went back sleep after like downing 2 cups of water, stay asleep till like 930 max.. cant squeeze my eyelids anymore.. then woke up.. prepare for sentosa..
reach there.. CB.. rain.. till like 2plus.. but luckily got warm up a bit le.. then played in perfect condition sand.. compacted sand by rain and a sunny afternoon for the tan.. BUT.. no good lvl 7-10 players. all like lvl 4 to 5 sia.. BUT still we manage to observe a serve from what we perceive as an ex or current volleyball player..damn pro the couple and yeah.. din get a chance to play with them cuz some NS man hogging them.. lol..
went back to RP, trained with rexaz.. was cool to see familiar faces and being able to exhaustively give back what i have learnt. yea
Tomo blog re-vamp if got time, gym for chest and then sleep.. BORING!!
my parents problems still not solved, cuz even though they apologise, its a habit that will repeat itself over and over again.. sighs